I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
