How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
