I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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