I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
