did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
