she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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