Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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