your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
