At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He passed out mid-signature
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
