Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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