Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
