so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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