i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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