i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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