should my penis look like a turkey
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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