the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize