; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
