so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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