she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
How external is "for external use only"?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
