last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
