You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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