just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
