Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
