You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
