maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
