i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
