I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
