whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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