I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
