i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
