I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
