i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You need Xanax blowdarts
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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