some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
