Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
