Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
