he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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