You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
