Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I am spending my child support on dildos
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
