ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Randomize
