youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
