come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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