you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
