Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
