I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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