The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
