**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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