Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
