i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
