if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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