Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
