I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
