BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
