I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
