I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
