so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
