Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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