I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
