sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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